W.I.T.C.H.

“Woman.in.total.control.of.herself” – Devon Cole

Let me ask you something… When you hear the word, [“witch”], what is the very first image to come to mind? Is it something along the lines of the Wicked Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz; a woman conjuring up evil spells and hexes? Or do you see someone being one with nature, using Earth’s resources and ‘Lunar energy’ for the betterment of themselves and the world around them? What about when you hear the word, [“pagan”]? Do you see a Celtic or Nordic herbalist dancing under the full moon -naked- with a bunch of other women in the woods?

What about: Enchantress? Sorceress? Magician? Occultist? Alchemist? Fortune-teller? Soothsayer? Clairvoyant? Medium? Seer? <- is it a combination of fairy tales, “devil worship”, evil and scam artists?

Below are some definitions according to the Oxford Dictionary.

Witch
noun:
a woman thought to have magic powers, especially evil ones, popularly depicted as wearing a black cloak and pointed hat and flying on a broomstick

Pagan noun:
a person holding religious beliefs other than those of the main world religions

^ Are those what you pictured? If the answer is yes, then I ask you, how come? Personally, I -didn’t- know the true definition of ‘paganism’ as I believed it just to be a >practice< of pre-Christian traditions, but nothing resembling a religion. Especially because I knew that [Wicca] is a {religious} version of paganism. However, according to Oxford, religion is: “the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods.” The fact polytheism is a belief among pagans makes sense that it would be considered a religion, I just never thought of it that way. 

When you think of “witchcraft” and “Voodoo” are you plagued with thoughts of evil doings? Do you get the same reaction when you hear the word, “[magic]”, or do you think of make believe, Christmas, Disney, Harry Potter and illusionists such as David Blaine? And if you add a K at the end?

Witchcraft noun:
the malevolent exercise of supposed supernatural powers, especially by women, attributed to a connection with the devil or evil spirits.

Voodoo
noun:
a religion practiced in parts of the Caribbean and the southern US, combining elements of Roman Catholic ritual with traditional African magical and religious rites, and characterized by sorcery and spirit possession

Magic
noun:
the power of apparently influencing the course of events by using mysterious or supernatural forces

Magick noun:
action or effort undertaken to effect personal transformation or external change

If -Voodoo- brings associations of evil, can you explain how, when it uses Roman Catholic rites? Or do you just look past that part? Or is Catholicism evil? <- I won’t argue that; but isn’t it usually those who are very Christian and/or Catholic the ones who make the association of Voodoo being evil? Adding a K at the end of -magic- often makes one think back to witchcraft, but how is {personal transformation} “malevolent exercise of supposed supernatural powers, attributed to a connection with the devil or evil spirits”?

Although, many remove the K and think of >magic< as drawing on an energy field that is believed to be surrounding all of us. It is used to heal themselves and others, or to find a new home or job, among other things. Magic is used for -changing- the practitioner as much as their circumstances, encouraging adherents to pursue self-growth and self-empowerment, with emphasis that magic must not cause harm. Are those who call on the elements, use herbal ‘concoctions’ and practice meditation and divination as tools to help unlock their subconcious in order to become the best version of themselves, evil? A lot of what is considered magic above is brought to you by ancient Nordic, Celtic and Buddhist cultures.

Do you consider Healers and Shamans practitioners of witchcraft or magic? Are they evil? I don’t know about you but when I think of a Healer I see someone trying to help those around them. And a Shaman by definition is: “a person regarded as having access to, and influence in, the world of good and evil spirits, especially among some peoples of northern Asia and North America. Typically such people enter a trance state during a ritual, and practice divination and healing.” <- in Indigionus cultures, Shamans are their healers, their doctors. That’s evil? Who’s to say one way or another because honestly, who has the authority to determine what “evil” even means outside of purposefully causing harm to others? Again, I don’t know about you, but I don’t know anyone who would consider self-growth to be harmful to others. Is setting boundaries for yourself harmful to others? Some may try to make you feel that way but the truth is, it’s not!!

Now, you are probably wondering, ‘why the heck is this even being discussed?’ And the truth is, I didn’t go into this blog with a purpose of explaining or making you question what “words” mean. And that’s all they are… [words]!

The real question is, why do some of the above bother some but not others?

It wasn’t until Christianity that anyone using holistic witchcraft became known as an -evil being-, because it wasn’t until then that witchcraft even became a thing. Oh no, don’t get me wrong, using crystals, herbs, Lunar phases, divination tools and calling upon the elements existed way before Christianity, it just wasn’t considered >Evil<. It was [a way of life], and still is for many Indigiounse cultures. Christianty is very much a ‘man is in charge’ mindset, whereas prior other cultures considered women as equals, or even better than a man. So when Christiantiy bloomed and took over, women who didn’t conform to the new societal views were considered different. And if history has taught us anything, differen’t = bad, am I right? It’s absolutely ridiculous to think, let alone believe, that if someone is different than you, whether it be gender, sexual orentation, color, religion, nationality – whatever, that they are bad and/or wrong while you are the good guy and one who is right. Who told you what was good and what was bad, wrong or right? Just because someone may have -told- you something while being indoctrinated, doesn’t mean that person is correct!!

Personally, as I’ve mentioned before in [10. Twin Flame] I believe everything is energetically connected. I don’t believe in one ‘almighty’ – does that make me wrong or ‘bad’ just because I have differing views? If your religion says so, then you see my issue with organized religion. Humans are humans; just because one believes something over another doesn’t make them a superior being. Just because one is born in poverty doesn’t make them any less of a human than one born into wealth. Money is money, a material object, not a life. If one’s actions or beliefs have [nothing] to do with negatively impacting another, who has the authority to call them wrong and/or bad, or even ‘evil’?

Easy. NO ONE!!! Absolutely no one.

With the way things are going in the U.S. with the Supreme Court taking human rights away from women, all I can think about is how women of the past were ridiculed and legitimately killed just for being a woman. Hell, they still are in some countries today! Women are freaking :magical:! What our bodies do to grow and nurture another is more than a man ever could, physiologically or mentally. So why is it we’re considered less than? Why is it we’re considered the inferior gender and/or sex? If it wasn’t for current religions we wouldn’t be; and it infuriates me that just because I was born with a double X chromosome, I am somehow less than? F that! The human race literally wouldn’t exist without women!! It’s as simple as that. Period. I may not go around with a pink hat with cat ears, but I without question support equality among >all< humans, not just dependent on their gender, biological sex, color, sexual orientation, etc.

This post isn’t about the Supreme Court’s decision, this post is about how women are powerful beings in and of themselves! How a way of life became something “evil” when in reality no harm was done; therefore, making the “evil” argument [moot]. How a woman standing strong in her convictions, beliefs and rituals lead to her being a “witch” practicing -witchcraft-, all because she didn’t bow down to the new ‘man-in-charge’ mindset. How she was doing the “Devil’s” work because she was using herbal connections to treat ailments and reciting a different version of a [prayer] in the terms of a [spell]. Again, just words. Just words being put out into the universe with hopes of a positive change in some way. Just like a prayer…

My entire life I have been in love with and obsessed with the Salem Witch trials. The only time I ever got anything other than a C in 7th grade English, was when I got an A+ for my speech and deliverance about the trials. My passion and heart has always been there. In doing genealogy and other research, taking classes and whatnot; I have come to learn so much about myself, my Celtic heritage and why I feel so connected to the trials. Why I have been obsessed with all things “witchy” my entire life and wish Halloween was all day, every day. My soul is connected to the universe, it’s energy and everything from here to there.

If my calling upon the elements, my own higher power/spirit or the universe, my use of divination tools such as tarot cards or pendulums to help me unlock parts of my subconscious that may be hidden otherwise, my yearning to live an intentional life trusting in signs and following my intuition, my belief in the energetic vibrations that have been scientifically proven to manipulate other energetic vibrational waves of things around them (such as crystals), my belief and understanding behind the psychology, math and science that goes into not only tarot but also astrology, and how everyone is individually affected by the universe, our planets and the lunar phases… if all of that makes me a “>witch<” – then I bow down as the Enchantress that I am because the {only} thing that I am doing, is trying to be the BEST version of myself that I can be!!! You know that Disney or Christmas ‘magical’ feeling? That’s the feeling I want for myself everyday, so I only put positivity out there and look for the light within my shadows, so that I can live a life full of my own magick!!

Devon Cole sang it best when she said that a witch is a [Woman In Total Control of Herself!] <- uh, yeah! I’ll accept that title! ::check::

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9oazB7lWRw

Exhausted.

When you’re tired of, well… everything and you’re stuck in limbo, it’s really difficult staying motivated to be productive. So much planning, so many ducks needing to be lined up exactly in the perfect row, so much packing, so many unanswered questions, so many decisions needing to be made… like I don’t mind doing the above, it’s trying to care to do everything else that’s the problem.

I hate clutter, it drives me crazy, overstimulates and triggers my anxiety. I become paralyzed from being overwhelmed due to my ADHD. <- Is it still considered hyperactive as an adult when you certainly don’t have the energy to even think about being hyper? The problem is, no one else seems to be bothered by any of it. So unless I am on top of keeping everything organized and put away, it sits. Until I do it.

I’m exhausted.

I get it, my husband works all day and he shouldn’t be in charge of everything else, too. We’re supposed to be a partnership, but when I’m sick – he’s on single dad duty and I >know< how much more that adds to his plate. It’s not fair to him, I agree! And he does help out keeping on top of the dishes, garbage and our cat’s litter box on his own, but maybe picking up a dish or cup off the kitchen table when they’re not in use wouldn’t be so bad? Again, I get it, he has so much on his mind for work, bills, trying to maintain my love language’s bucket, etc. that his brain is preoccupied. I get it. I do! But is it really that hard to walk your soda can over to recycling instead of leaving it anywhere else? Or leaving their socks right where they take them off? (Ha. I know most wives feel me on this one! Husband’s too, I’m not excluding any significant others; I just tend to hear more about it from wives. ;-p) And NO, this isn’t a passive aggressive way of harping on him, these are examples of conversations previously had. It should also be noted that while we are a partnership, he is hardwired from generations of “women take care of the household and children” coming from a Russian culture. He absolutely believes it should be a partnership but I am the one home, so when I’m not sick it should be more on me. Again, I agree!!!

Though it doesn’t change the fact: I’m exhausted.

Then there’s the kids who, well anyone who’s had children or been around them for any amount of time, understands how they’re mini tornados that don’t care what they leave in their wake. Kid’s are the worst when it comes to all things clutter. I mean, my oldest has admitted he doesn’t like cleaning his room (what child does?, besides my Lori-Lou [02. & 11.]) as he too has extreme ADHD, so the overwhelming thoughts of where to begin, I understand. However, there is also legitimate truth behind his thriving in the organized chaos he creates.

Just looking into his room, I’m exhausted.

It’s been 2 years of ciaos due to the pandemic and the battles between masks and vaccines. The weather cannot make up its mind so the constant switching of barometric pressure causes any dysautonomiac [06.HS/Diagnosis] their own personal hell! It’s hard enough just to get out of bed some days. Going through hormonal changes in your thirties, more unanswered health questions for why I’ve gained 25lbs in the past year. And now Russia is initiating what could very likely result in World War 3?

I’m exhausted.

Why bother organizing and putting everything away when you are just going to be demolishing their homes, at an unanswered time? Planning a kitchen remodel/new flooring is exhausting, but I enjoy it. I’m just struggling to find the motivation to clean up the clutter when I know my house will be -organized chaos- in hopefully >fingerscrossed:knocksonwood< short order. But with the pandemic and what Russia has just done to Ukraine, all uncertainties are even higher up in the air. Looking around and seeing all the… stuff, not only overstimulates and triggers my anxiety and overwhelms me to the point of paralyzation, it exhausts me.

I. Am. Exhausted.

Rant… 01.

Okay, so here’s the deal. This entry is completely improvised, on the spot and will not be formatted or anything special. I don’t even care if I edit it, I’m just so damn frustrated!!

Of course, now I just received an email that has me in tears so writing this will be all the more difficult… FFS!

Breathe. In slowly, out slowly. Repeat.

I was initially going to rant about how messed up health care is in America, and I will at some point, but I need to rant re: covid-19 first! As someone who is chronically ill, it’s so damaging knowing that your life literally doesn’t mean a thing to Joe Shmo on the street. It’s a total mind fk! I get it, we’re ALL tired and angry and over it. But this pandemic isn’t over! And no, I am not Naïve in thinking this virus is going anywhere. BUT! It still needs to be taken seriously, if not for yourself than for those of us who are at severe risk of complications!!

Admittedly, I am not Christian, but isn’t the whole Christian belief supposed to be about caring for others? Caring for thy neighbor? Loving and respecting one another? The only thing I have been met with is, “stay home then” as if I don’t deserve to [live] as well! Why is my life less important? To date, we have lost 942,006 human beings to Covid-19 in the U.S. alone. And yes, I know I will be met with backlash that not every death was covid related and blah blah flippin blah. I get it. I understand and agree numbers may not be 100% accurate, but isn’t one life lost enough? If you could do your part knowing that you’re doing the best you can to save someone’s life, isn’t that enough? For those who are pro-life they sure don’t act like it. They protest, “my body, my choice” but isn’t that down right hypocrisy?

It hurts. I am angry. I am sad. I am beside myself that people are so desensitized to the death toll and have completely lost their empathy!! The only way through this is together! Why is it when 9/11 happened that everyone came together in unity, but now it’s all political? I truly feel I am living in an alternate reality…

Do you know how heart breaking it is as a parent to witness the fear and anxiety their children face knowing they may potentially bring home said virus that could turn their world upside down with the loss of a parent? The guilt they already feel when nothing has even happened? It fucking sucks! Yes, I am terrified myself but I do everything in my power to assure my kids that everything is going to be okay! We are all vaccinated, we wear our masks, wash our hands, stay out of public when possible- hell, we even still wipe our groceries down! We do our part and by continuing to do so, we will prevail. <- but will we? I honestly wish I could promise them that but I won’t (can’t) make a promise I cannot keep!

What triggered this rant that took me away from venting about health care, is the fact our school district has decided to drop the mask mandate later this month that has been in place since August. My oldest, who has severe anxiety, is already saying he can’t return to school. School is and always has been his [happy place]! He is gifted and loves learning everything he can more than anything. After being home/virtual all year last year, being in the classroom has meant everything to him. But now? He’s taking on the burden of potentially bringing home something that could potentially kill me. How TF do I calm his nerves? How TF do I make him feel safe and comfortable? The answer is, I can’t… and that is more heart breaking and damaging than anything else!

I’m scared. I’ll admit it. I’m scared for myself. I’m scared for the the impact this is going to have on my children. I am scared for my parents, brother and everyone else out there who is high risk. As an empath, I genuinely, deep within my soul, simply cannot comprehend what is happening. My kids need answers that I cannot give them, as I myself need the same damn answers.

How do we legitimately live without just surviving? How do we forge forward while maintaining our mental health stability, strength and courage? Please, please someone help me understand because my own light is dimming day by day.