07. Ode to my Mentors

“To mentor is to touch a life forever.” – Unknown

The Plymouth-Canton school district was a great place for education, as long as you fit their mold. As previously mentioned, I struggled in school but the school never helped me. I didn’t qualify for any assistance with special services because while I did have a type of dyslexia and a processing disorder, my test scores were “too good”. My grades weren’t consistent with needing help. The actual words that the school social worker (or whoever it was that did the testing) said were, “Your IQ level is too high. It may be hard for you but you’ve learned a way to overcompensate and make it work.” … uh… cool.

Thankfully I had some incredible teachers and assistant principal on my side. I wasn’t always lucky, though! No, in second grade my teacher was a straight up witch but with a capital B! She was so hard on me but claimed it was because she liked me and knew my potential. Seven/eight years old is such an impressionable age that her hateful words stuck with me. I had the stress and anxiety of trying to be perfect because of what my brother told me, added to being talked down upon by my teacher, that it’s no wonder I struggled to believe in myself. It’s no wonder I am a perfectionist. It’s no wonder I never feel good enough or even see my accomplishments as something to be proud of. It’s no wonder that I stressed over every grade that I had to learn to “overcompensate”. Damn those years were tough!

It’s funny how over time things get buried so deep that you forget what caused you to be the way you are. All I know is that I cried when my son went to second grade because I knew he wasn’t going to have a negative experience like me. Although jokes on me, it was that year Covid-19 took over, but that’s for later. My son’s second grade teacher is one of the most exceptional humans that I have ever been lucky to know! The only other person I could compare her to would be my 8th grade English teacher who literally changed my life. [Laura Doran, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all that you do to help shape our younger generations into compassionate and successful humans!!! – Hugs! – ]

Since I’ve already briefly mentioned 3 horrible teachers, I’ll leave it at that. They’re not worthy of more mention. However there have been a few noteworthy instructors and I could list them all out, but I really only want to honor three in particular: Jerome Sullivan, Shelby Holcomb and Amy Trombley.

Mr. Sullivan was my middle school vice principal. He was strict and everyone hated him, except Jack and I. Thinking about it, some of my favorite teachers could be considered mean and less favorable to most. Interesting… anyway, Mister Sullivan believed in me. He saw my potential while also believing my struggles. As did my middle school chorus teacher, Mrs. Holcomb and my 8th grade English teacher, Mrs. Trombley. [Huh, I just realized they’re all from middle school, one of the worst seasons in my life.] Mr. Sullivan volunteered his time after school once a week to help me with homework. He read to me. That may not seem like much but it meant everything. He proved he cared by his actions and he didn’t stop there. Once I was in high school he insisted on helping us fight for a 504 plan that would allow me assistance. He attended all of our meetings with my counselor and other administration and vouched for me as my former vice principal. Between his help and my mom fighting like hell, I was finally able to get the assistance I diservered! That same year he took a temp VP job at another one of the three high schools and had lunch duty at mine. Every so often if he noticed me not eating he’d give me a dollar for fries and wouldn’t let me pay him back. People can say what they will but Jerry Sullivan is good people and I’m still so appreciative of him!

When Mrs. Holcomb took you under her wing, you were her student for the long haul. She had my back and really looked out for me. We kept in touch and the last time I saw her was my “high school” graduation party. When she passed her classroom aid made sure I knew so that I could pay my respects to the family and say my goodbyes. She was special to me to begin with but what I learned that day proved how special she was to everyone else, as well.

My last shoutout really deserves her own entry because a few sentences won’t do her justice. Though, I have written so many papers about her over the years that I think she’ll understand. ::wink:: Mrs. Trombley changed my life. Her help and belief in me unblocked something and I’ve never looked back. She was more than a teacher, mentor and friend – she became “Mom #2”. We were so close that some believed I was her adopted daughter. Much like my son’s teacher, Amy gives her heart to everything she does. She has a way of empowering her students to see themselves the way she does. She sees only the good, the potential and never lets you question your abilities. Having struggled in English my entire life I never would have expected to go from a C average in Language Arts to an A, and at times the best of my class! It’s embarrassing to admit but I’ll own it – it wasn’t until she introduced me to ☆🛊 (Stargirl) by Jerry Spinelli that I successfully finished reading my first chapter book. Stargirl will always hold a very dear spot in both of our hearts and the message behind the book needs to be taught to every child, making the world a better place as a result!

To this day she is still a huge part of my life and I credit her for a lot of my accomplishments. After what I went through to get there, she made sure she was in attendance at my college commencements ceremony; the only time I walked across a stage wearing a cap and gown. And has been there for all of life’s biggest moments. I cry thinking about how much love I have for this woman and the impact she has made in my life. 

Others may think I’m crazy but my biggest accomplishment in which I am truly proud of myself, didn’t happen until I was 31. I set a reading goal to read 10 books that year, knowing damn well I likely wasn’t going to achieve it. I have friends trying for 75-100+ books a year and my goal was 10. But you know what? I crushed that goal by 220%!! Not only did I read 10 books in the first 12 WEEKS of the year, I ended the year with 22 (my favorite number) by reading my new favorite book. I will forever be proud of that accomplishment more than anything else. And to think, if it wasn’t for Mrs. Trombley introducing me to Stargirl all those years ago, I may never have learned that I love reading. So what if it did take me until my 30’s, I got there and no one will rain on my parade!

Husband Appreciation Post

Thank you for being the reason I smile.

Since I am new to this whole “blogging” thing and my posts are mostly in chronological order, I have to admit I was stumped with how to go about adding in new things. At first I just wrote and made a note [ —- I have no idea where this is going to fit, however I need to write so I’m writing.]  which seemed like the logical thing to do. However, if I just kept writing and posting in order then I’d never be caught up, unless I did a major post dump. Which I suppose is always possible; I mean the last published post was 04. and I already have up to 11. in my drafts. Buuuuutttt no!

So I am sitting here trying to figure out a way to differentiate between [the beginning] and what I want to write about, literally right now. Igor (OH! Perfect example for why I’m stumped!! You see, the last relationship I mentioned was Kevin, which we really haven’t even dove into yet. AND O.M.G. I just now realized that I haven’t even published his introductory post yet. Whoops. See the struggle?!?) Damn… <- And yes, I could have deleted all of that but then I wouldn’t be sticking to my truth. So moving on.

It was my husband’s (^ Igor) idea to simply not number current posts. Uhmm… so simple yet BRiLLiaNT!! And of course [obviously] I can and will categorize them as current vs. the beginning but I am giving Igor the win here! It is the “Husband Appreciation” post after all! Though, it wasn’t the brilliant idea that sparked this post. Oh no, Igor deserves every damn praise I can give him right now! 

You see, our 10th Wedding Anniversary was last August and the ONLY thing I wanted was an ‘anniversary cake’ made the same way as our wedding cake.

That didn’t happen.

… nor did I receive anything else …

Okay, this is absolutely an appreciation post for him and I certainly don’t want to speak (type?) ill of him but again, my truth. Igor isn’t a gift giver, which would be easier to handle if my love language wasn’t [receiving gifts.] – >Yup<  – It has definitely caused some issues as I am sure you can imagine, however, we are at an incredible place in our marriage and our communication has never been more open and honest as it is right now!! He’s working on it and I’ve called in reinforcements (my oh so magnificent Young One/cousin/best friend who was helping me to edit these posts {initially}). When your love language is receiving gifts you know how to give a damn good gift! ::Brushes Shoulders Off:: And by gift it doesn’t even need to be something bought, just simply something showing that you’re thinking of me. A note, a flower from the garden, a drawn heart on the bathroom mirror with a dry erase marker, a planned date, anything. It’s about showing that you’re thinking of me and -wanting- to do something to fill my bucket. It’s the added effort behind it vs. just getting the latest thing off my Amazon wish list, you know? Sara’s love language is also receiving gifts so being one of my best friends and not just my cousin, she sure knows me and can offer up some superb ideas!

Now back to why an appreciation post was a MUST!! 

While I may not have gotten my cake for our anniversary, it needs to be noted that the baker who made our wedding cake retired from her business and neither of us were aware of it. After feeling my true disappointment about our anniversary, Igor was able to get a hold of her and get recommendations for other bakers. She let him know what to ask for since it was a cake she had never made before and those other bakers likely hadn’t either. So, he reached out but none of those other bakers would make it!?! I mean it was unique I’ll give you that but it shouldn’t have been too difficult for a baker…

You guys, this man took it upon himself to BAKE IT FROM SCRATCH all by himself!!! What?! I have never felt more loved, seen, heard or appreciated! The effort he put into this thing? OMG!!! The only time he has ever baked before was for my 25th birthday. I wasn’t able to have dairy at that time since I was still nursing and my Bookinns couldn’t handle dairy products. He tried making me a simple dairy free chocolate cake but it was nothing compared to this cake! This cake? This is a 4 layer strawberry and chocolate marbled cake with ricotta and chocolate filling and cream cheese frosting sprinkled with chocolate!!! All. From. Scratch!! We’re talking even real fresh strawberries! Ha. I literally CRY just thinking about it!!! My bucket is so full I cannot stop smiling, WOW! I love you Igor so freaking much, my appreciation is beyond words. Thank you, THANK YOU, thank you!!

But honestly, above all, I am so damn PROUD of you!!! My uncontrollable smile and tears are in part from beaming with pride. Seriously, you’ve done an amazing job! I LOVE YOU!!!!!